Frank's film tip: It's nice to DELIVER Eva but what about delivering the rest of the romantic goods as well?

The ingredients were promising for writer-director Gary Hardwick's wannabe hip romantic comedy Deliver Us From Eva. With an attractive and snappy cast headed up by engaging leads Gabrielle Union (Bring It On) and smooth rapper-actor LL Cool J (Rollerball), you would think that this romancer would have more soul, spirit and finger-snapping attitude. And with William Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew as a blueprint for inspiration, the premise made for a sure-fire familiar yet challenging involvement. However, Deliver Us From Eva is surprisingly a bland and fading "clash-of-the-sexes" comedy that has all the urgency of a giddy Cosmopolitan article. Hardwick does little to ensure that his narrative dutifully soaks up the flippancy level at an intriguing rate. Instead, there are tepid plot twists and sketchy situational set-ups that register as run-of-the-mill fare. The movie may try and hastily deliver Eva but it barely delivers anything worthwhile beyond its sluggish pacing.

The breathtaking beauty Gabrielle Union plays the title character of Eva Dandridge, a well-meaning fussy young woman who has a strange emotional stronghold on her three sisters--Kareenah (Essence Atkins), Bethany (Robinne Lee) and Jacqui (Meagan Good). Part of feisty health inspector Eva's over-protective nature for her younger siblings is quite understandable--she gamely played big sis and surrogate mother as she had to look out after them due to the untimely passing of her parents. As an older sister, she had to demonstrate a sense of order and possessed a hardened shell to her stone cold personality. Poor Eva wasn't allowed the privilege of being spontaneous by letting her hair down because she had to maintain balance and set a good example for her sisters. There's not much room for margin of error in Eva's universe and her uptight persona is necessary to her but distracting to those whose lives she indirectly affects.

The consensus is such that Eva has too much control over her intelligent but dependent sisters. Being grateful by Eva's lingering guidance, the sisters are indebted to her and seek her advice out constantly without hesitation. This is, of course, not a popular decision with the gals' suitors Tim (Mel Jackson), Darrell (Dartanyan Edmonds) or Mike (Duane Martin). The guys feel that Eva is too intrusive and demanding on their women thus ruining the sense of freedom and flexibility that threatens all of the involved relationships. And it doesn't help that Eva has a flip lip that represents her secured bad disposition. The questions: Who can relief the tension and serve as the perfect distraction to give pesky Eva her comeuppance? Who could be the ideal foil for her troubling meddling? Who is up to the task of running proper interference and counteracting the emasculating vibes that she dishes out so convincingly?

Enter local ladies man Ray (LL Cool J). The guys enlist his aid to act as the effective player to cool her heated frustration as well as crunch her cookies. And so for a lofty price of $5,000 Ray agrees to become the lothario-for-hire. Predictably, as Ray carries out his dubious task in becoming the romantic buffer for the guys and their companions the so-called "unthinkable" occurs--the styling stud finds himself falling in love for the difficult Eva. Naturally, she succumbs to the dashing appeal of the self-assured Ray as well but doesn't want to admit to such "weakness". Granted the physical attraction is evident but the obligatory strife between the two budding rogues is carried on in rudimentary, step-by-step fashion. Their relationship is defined as a volatile one; Union's Eva is glib but astute while Cool J's Ray is cocky but good-natured. Still, what makes the inevitable connection of Eva and Ray so eventful and special as compared to the countless cinematic instances of clich?d portraits regarding flustered females and the mismatched misogynistic males they end up craving in the long run?

Deliver Us From Eva is a see saw romantic ride that methodically dabbles in its fluffy presentation but never aspires to instill any substantive or distinctive drive into this botched big screen ebony version reminiscent of the old television series Love, American Style. Hardwick (The Brothers) oversees what amounts to be an elaborate series of belabored vignettes strung together by inane dialogue and irritating one-note protagonists that grate on the nerves more often than not. The script is borderline mawkish and there's nothing really inventive or telling about the floating sexual politics to create anything scathingly robust or cynically wry for that matter. Eva does produce some chuckles here and there but that's the problem--there's no darn consistency in keeping the tepid material flowing with savvy, solid wit. Hardwick isn't very observational when it comes to adequately sympathizing or skewing his self-indulgent targets to the point where the audience has their vested interest in the tussle of these wayward folks.

The spark that is generated by Union and Cool J is passable but not memorable. As the maligned Eva, Union fulfills the inner anger and alienation factor up to a certain point. With that being said, we still don't gain any credible ounce of emptiness in her vulnerable state. She's a bright young woman who has sacrificed her innocence and livelihood to take on the project of minding her siblings unselfishly yet Union doesn't elicit the automatic empathy from us that justifies her weariness and combative convictions. Cool J is acceptable as the appointed masculine eye candy, as we're constantly reminded by the feminine contingency in the movie thanks to the simplistic repetitive scripting, but somehow the depth of his caddish character is painfully stilted. If Cool J's Ray had more of a fragile kink in his arrogance then his characterization would have made a viable contrast to Union's Eva and her headstrong obstinacy.

The supporting cast members regrettably languish in the thankless roles afforded them and only provide the mere significance of being convenient atmospheric human props while Union and Cool J go through the garrulous motions of their banal bonding.

Bottom line, gang--we've seen this routine more times than we care to count. Whether spicing this farce up with the noted dosage of ethnicity or highlighting the sizzling presence of a soulful soundtrack to inject some needed personality, this film forgot to deliver the desired goods along with the convincing complexity that once consumed Eva's starving heart.

Frank rates this film: ** stars (out of 4 stars)